woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
