You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize