the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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