i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
