Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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