Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
