the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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