someone get that fucking seahorse.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
