My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
