True but thats because hes a fetus.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
