I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
