Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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