She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
