well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
