last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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