i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
