you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
