I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
