Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
