this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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