she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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