We won't sleep together?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize