you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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