Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize