barbara walters just said penis...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
