Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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