what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
