Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
