People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
