Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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