I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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