Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
