my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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