The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
