We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
