Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
