I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
