I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm getting married
To pizza
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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