Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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