I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This is classic penis vs brain.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
