Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
