he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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