you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
