Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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