I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
