I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
