Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
