Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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