Duck Duck Cougar?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have fence marks all over my body
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