Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
