I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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