I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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