You can't motorboat a personality
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
