I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
