he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
