Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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