i think my mom watched the whole time
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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