whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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