i permit you to call me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
