Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
