i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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