Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize