There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
