Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize