Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
