A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
