I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
