I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
