I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
